Feelings

Sometimes I feel forgotten.  Like God's written everyone else's last chapter of their book, but mine stops halfway through.

Sometimes I feel like I'll never catch a break.  If one area of my life is under control, another area is two inches from utter destruction.

Sometimes I feel like I'll never catch up.  I've always been a procrastinator, but does that honestly mean I have to be the last to do anything?

I know that's all not true and it hinges on two words I kept repeating- I feel.  You really can't rely on your feelings.  I should know, I always had a feeling that I was going to marry Nick Carter in high school and THAT clearly hasn't happened.

Joking.  But really, you can't rely on your feelings.  Especially if you're a girl.  Oh my word, if I could record the thoughts and feelings that run through me in one day.  I'm pretty sure I'd be labeled cah-razy, if I'm not already.  Ha.

Over the past few weeks, I've been inundated with messages, bible studies, and even other blogs about how our feelings and thoughts don't define us, but God's word does.  Here's one...

Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

It's SO easy to get caught up in comparing myself to others and coming up short every time.  I fall into that habit ALL. THE. TIME.  For awhile, I was doing a really good job of catching myself in the process and stopping the thoughts.  I haven't been doing so great lately and part of that reason is that I haven't been spending any time with the Lord lately.  I'm "too tired" to do my bible study, "too sleepy" to pray, "too busy" to read my Bible.  

I made a point to do all three the other night.  I was tired and exhausted, but I did it.  I didn't see an immediate change in the way I thought, but I know that if I continue to press in and spend time with God, my "feelings" will change.

I've got some great sermons downloaded on my iPod, I've got some great worship music on there as well, and I've got the only book I'll need by my side.  I am so sick and tired of feeling worn down and distant from God.  I know things will change if I only just put in some time and effort.

These are just my ramblings and my thoughts and how I'm "feeling" these days.