I Can't Imagine

Does anyone else get stressed out when their email inbox starts to get too full?  And by that, I mean more than fifty emails so it has to go on to a second page?

I do, and I am getting stressed by it right now.  I know, stupid reason.  But I am waiting on several packages to arrive and I need to pay a few bills.  Then it will be less than fifty emails.  

Now my work email?  Totally different story and for whatever reason, it doesn't bother me.

Wow, did I really just start a blog post about emails?  BORING.

Anyway, my weekend was pretty much like the start of this post- boring, so I won't recap it. (Except for a fun ornament swap Saturday night.  And then meeting a friend for lunch on Saturday.  Okay, so it was fun, but everything else was boring.)

I, like most of this nation, have been consumed by thoughts of Newtown this weekend.  On Friday, after I heard about the shooting, I could not turn away from the news.  I was at home, having traveled back from my grandmother's funeral that morning.

I just can't fathom the whole entire thing.  We do lockdown drills at my school, and yes, they're a little eerie.  But I just cannot imagine having to do a for real lockdown because of a gunman.  I cannot imagine welcoming in a classroom full of precious, sweet babies and then, an hour later, have them taken from this earth.  I can't imagine having my world altered so deeply in just a moment's time. 

I also cannot imagine why anyone thinks this is an appropriate time to start playing the blame game.  I guess it's human nature to want to have a reason or to have someone to blame, but COME ON.  Have some respect for the families and friends that have just lost their son, their daughter, their sister, brother.

Do I think banning guns completely is going to solve the problem?  Yeah, about as much as I believe that making drugs illegal stops people from smoking crack.  In other words, hell no.  Do I think we need some changes in our country in regards to guns and mental healthcare?  You bet.  Do I want to talk about that now?  No way.  I deactivated my facebook account a week ago and I am so, so, so thankful I'm not on there right now.  I can only imagine all the idiotic, insensitive, inappropriate comments that are all over facebook.

I want to honor those kids and those adults who died without reason, who were taken from their families far too soon.  I want to remember those victims for longer than a week.  I want to thank God for my own family and friends.

I don't know how to end this.  It may be a ramble.  It may not make sense.  It went from emails to this shooting.  I just know I was incredibly thankful to see my 31 precious students' faces this morning and to pray with my colleagues before work and to have dinner with my grade level tonight.

I don't think is playing on here, so if you wanna hear it, you can click on the song name to go to youtube.